Hmmm.

I am itching to go camping. So, I think that on Thursday evening, I am going to dig out the tent, and set it up in the yard to let it air out. Then, Friday night we can take the Pea and camp out in the yard and have a fire and stuff. Then.. the following weekend, I wanna camp for real, at a campground. There is one near here, but no one seems to know much about it. I am hoping I can scoot over there to check it out. That will be my birthday weekend. Meh.

My Pop died on my birthday in 1997. He died right here in what is now the Pea's playroom. I had been here the week before, spending time with him and the family. I left just three days before he passed. It was awful. I had just started a new job and I could not come back for his funeral.

This is the first time I will be here on that day. I am conflicted about this. I mean, I know he wouldn't want me being all mopey and upset... but I am not sure that I can wake up in this house that morning and NOT be a mess.

So, I think it is time to go camping.

Or maybe I should just put on my big girl undies and face it?

*sigh*

I know that I will definitely head up to the cemetery that day. I can talk to him and have a good cry and try to get on with the day, I guess.

I really want to go camping, and I wanna do it before it gets too hot... so my birthday weekend is as good a time as any, right? I mean, no one here gives a shit that it is my birthday. Just to spend some time with Mom, Pea and T (and JEN if she comes lol) will be all that I need.

:)