Photography and stuff.

I love taking pictures. I like capturing memories. Most of my photos are not very good, but that was never my aim. Until now. For years I have had a high-falutin' expensive camera and I never really learned to use it the way that it was meant to be used. What a shame, really.

That is going to change.

Lately, I feel life slipping from my grip. I am merely a bystander. I don't like feeling like this. I have been trying for years to lose weight. I have failed. I started school HOW long ago? And I failed. I gave up, or I was too depressed.. I had wanted to be a certain kind of parent. Am I that parent? NO.

And I am TIRED of it all.

So, it was time to give myself a good, old-fashioned attitude adjustment. I was toying with a new domain name, but have since decided against it. I shall keep this one. See, I am not sure if T and I are going to survive. I do not really want to get into that here because I am trying to keep a positive outlook going here.

All I can do is work on ME.

So, a few short term goals are in order:

Go for a walk every.single.day. And move it.. get your heart rate UP and get your blood pumping.
Drink more water.
Spend more time giving thanks and noticing the little things.
Eat 3 small meals a day with HEALTHY snacks in between.
FINISH FREAKING SCHOOL ALREADY. Gosh.
Get at least 8 hours of sleep a night.
Learn more about your cameras and take pictures EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.
Find a quiet spot and spend some time meditating.
STOP with the self-deprecating comments.
Spend 24 minutes a day doing that DVD workout you love so much.
Get back to FLY'ing with the Flylady (don't laugh..that woman has it RIGHT.)


Ok, I could keep going, but that will have to do for now.
I am putting it out there.. to hopefully hold my ass accountable.

Wish me LUCK. If my past is any indication, Ima gonna need all the luck I can get.


For some long term goals?

Get better with my camera. Some day, I would like to make money with it.
Get a JOB.
Find a gym and hire a trainer.
Garden. GARDEN GARDEN GARDEN. And canning. I wanna eat my own food instead of spending money on God-only-knows what at the store.
Try to consume less packaging. Turn off the lights, conserve energy, etc. Lessen the ol' carbon footprint.
Get my mom to move here. I miss her so much when she is gone.
Volunteer. Help make my community better. GET INVOLVED.

Now, IF I can accomplish each of these goals, I will finally feel comfortable in being who I am, for I will be what I truly want to be; a loving, giving, caring, tolerant, self-sufficient individual in every sense. I will love myself, and therefore can truly love and appreciate my surroundings.

I love my mom and my daughter more than anything in this world. They inspire me. But I am not all that I can be FOR them because I am such a mess right now. So, I figured.. if I work on me, then it will all fall into place...

Right??

*sigh*