My desire to blog, that is. Meh. I just have too much to say. I do not know where to start. I will try though, and hopefully it doesn't turn out to be a rambling MESS.
As you know, I struggle with keeping my chin up. I try SO hard. I know that I have so much to be thankful for.
Like:
My Mom.
My M.
My T.
The fact that my family agreed to us coming here instead of selling this place.
I can get out of bed each day. I can see, smell, hear, taste, and feel, both literally and with my head and my heart. I definitely battle some depression, but I believe that it is situational and not clinical. I definitely have some anxiety, but nothing that cannot be handled by some quiet, alone time. I have all of my parts and they all work, even if a few creak and hurt a bit with movement. LOL.
My friends. I have some WONDERFUL friends.
I have a roof over my head and food to eat. I even have a few niceties like hot, running water, a working terlet, washing machine and dryer, a bed, heat, tv, and basic satellite tv. Oh and my phone.
So see? I really do not have it bad.
So when I have a couple of bad days, it really brings me down. I have started to remind myself of the little things. When I go outside, I breathe deep. The air here smells wonderful. I stop and watch the birds. I take time to appreciate the flowers popping up everywhere. I watch my kid in awe.. and I love on her every chance that I get. I run through the sprinkler with her. I color with her. I cannot wait to camp with her and to float down river with her. I watch her with her daddy and my heart wants to go 'BOOM'. She loves him. And he loves her. And in those moments my world is a-okay.
I need to get out with my camera. Hopefully, one day soon, it will STOP RAINING long enough for me to do that...
3 comments:
Woke up and could hear the rain this morning. It bummed me out because I had to go to work, I couldn't stay home and enjoy the quietness of the rainy day. At lunch I sat in the van and listened to the rain patter the roof and the windshield and was kinda sad that Shannon asked if there was a difference in those noises. When I got out of work it was still raining. I like rain on the windshield. I like riding thru puddles and losing my brakes.
Ur a wonderful person Jen...I love having you around. I think your depression will get better when there is more sunshine. U moved to a state that a doesn't have alot of sun in the winter from a state that has alot of sun. So your vitamin D levels might be low, a vitamin D supplement might help alot in the winter months. I know you have lost alot, and want it back, but God has a reason for everything. This is definetly strengthing you. Hold in there, I have a feeling there are great things coming your way!
yeah, me!!!!
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