It was 18 degrees outside when I took M out to get the bus this morning. This kinda sucks. LOL.
This is the hardest thing for me. I want my FL weather. I REALLY do.
I am struggling SO hard with whether or not I want to stay here. Part of me REALLY does love it here. Spring and summer have so much potential here. But then I think of winter and having to face it again. Ugh.
I love the snow. I love watching it fall. I love going for walks in it. I love how it makes everything so beautiful. But then, it gets melty and gray and it makes a huge mess. The bleakness of winter pokes through again and well.. *sigh*
The truth of the matter is this.. I cannot afford to live anywhere else. Even when I get a job, it will not be enough for us to survive in FL. This schooling was never meant to support this family, it was to supplement T's income. Now I am left trying to figure out how it is going to pay the bills.
And here, it WILL suffice. In FL, we would have to live in the ghetto. Seriously.
This is the real hard part for me. We had it all once. And now? Pfft. Can't pay the bills. It is a tough pill to swallow, but I am just trying my hardest to make the best of what we DO have, even it is not much. We have M.. who is amazing in every way. We have my mom, who, what can I say? AMAZING. In every way.
I can get out of bed each day. I can see and smell and taste and move and BE. And that is a lot more than what some people have.
When I get in these funks, I just try to remember that I COULD be living under a bridge somewhere. So, I AM thankful.
I just miss FL and the beach and the WARM WEATHER.
*sigh*
6 comments:
I completely get this! If I could live in a warm climate I would also. Just because it's your reality now though Jen, it doesn't necessarily mean that this will always be your future. You may well get back to sunnier climes one day... Keep positive.
Thanks Charlie! I am trying my best! :)
:( Thats my face if you move away lol I know the winter SUCKS!!!! But maybe its not your surroundings that you aren't happy with. If that makes sense...Maybe its not just the weather, this town, the finances, maybe they aren't the problem?
This town is not the problem at all. I love it here. The finances are a huge problem. And this house. I have a feeling its going to be a money pit. And the fact that I simply miss FL.
But yes Jen, there is a lot more, and you are right. I get what you mean. I am so not happy, but I am not sure what to do about it.
Warm weather will be there before you know it! I feel the same way. I love the first snow fall of the year. It's so pretty on all the trees. Then it keeps snowing. It gets messy & yucky. I want warm weather.
You definitely have the right attitude! Keep your chin up.
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